Russian Pelmeni

In January of 2002, I had the opportunity to spend some time in Turkmenistan. At the time, the country was ruled by Saparmyrat Niyazov, a.k.a. the Turkmenbashy (which roughly translates as “the father of all Turkmen”). He was widely criticized as being one of the most totalitarian, repressive and egotistic dictators in the world, imposing his personal eccentricities upon his people. But he was also one of the funniest. Some examples of his wackier side: he renamed the months of the year after members of his family, declared a public holiday for melons, and had the Neutrality Arch built in honor of his pledge to keep Turkmenistan out of any “international arguments.” What a nice guy. It’s a 75 meter tall, three-legged monument which symbolizes, in addition to the implied cowardice of his neutrality pledge, the traditional trivet on which a Turkmen cooking pot sits. I guess that’s why there’s also a restaurant inside. Oh, and glass elevators.

The cherry on top of this crazy cupcake is a twelve foot, gold-plated statue of him with outstretched arms, which rotates so that the president always faces the sun. According to some people I spoke to about this, it was meant to show that the very heavens shone down upon his reign… sorry, presidency. This little conceit only cost the county around 12 million dollars in 1998. A mere bag of shells for one the poorest and least developed of the former soviet republics. I’m not even going to write about the preponderance of fountains in Ashgabat, the capital of one the driest counties in the world.

The great Turkmenbashy was also the alleged author of a tome called The Ruhnama (required reading for all students), a cavalier rewriting of Turkmen history and social philosophy, containing, among other things, the word of God transmitted by divine inspiration to the Turkmenbashy himself. According to some (probably the Turkmenbashy), he even persuaded God to ensure that any student who read the book three times would automatically get into paradise. Talk about E-Zpass.

Like I said, the Turkmenbashy was a funny guy, unless you happened to be a citizen of Turkmenistan.

Anyway, you may be wondering why I’m writing about Turkmenistan when this entry is about Russian food. Well, although traditional Turkmen food is closely related to the food of other central Asian countries and has links to the Middle East as well as India, Turkmenistan was a part of the former Soviet Union. Because of this, good deal of traditional Russian dishes can be found there (mostly served in restaurants). Also, I haven’t been to Russia proper. Yet.

One of the most famous Russian foods is pelmeni, a kind of Eurasian tortellini. They most likely originated in Mongolia and made their way through Central Asia and into Europe because they were easily preserved (especially in Siberia, where frozen food wasn’t a convenience, it was a fact of life), traveled well and taste pretty darn good.

If you live near a Russian deli or supermarket, you can buy them frozen. They are a filling meal that cooks quickly and easily (you just boil them in water or broth), but most Russians still prefer the tradition of making them by hand, and no self-respecting Russian housewife would consider serving her family the pre-made variety. They’re strictly for single men, hence the nickname, “bachelor food.”

Pelmeni are fairly easy to make, if a little time consuming, but if you have a couple of hours to spend, try making a batch and freezing them. You’ll have plenty of these little rib stickers on hand to get you through those long, cold Siberian nights. You might even want to curl up with a copy of The Ruhnama, just for laughs.

INGREDIENTS
2½ cups flour
½ tsp salt
3 eggs
1 tbsp vegetable oil
½ to 1 cup milk or water
½ pound ground beef
½ pound ground pork
1 onion, finely diced
Salt
Pepper

MAKE THE DOUGH

1. Combine the dry ingredients in a food processor fitted with a metal blade and pulse a couple of times to mix. Beat the three eggs with the oil.



2. With the food processor running, add the eggs and oil.



3. Slowly add enough milk until a soft, but not sticky, ball forms.



4. Remove dough and knead on a floured board for a few minutes, until the dough feels silky.



5. Wrap the dough in plastic wrap and let rest for about 30 minutes.

MAKE THE FILLING
I really recommend using a meat grinder for making the filling, because you will get the best texture by passing the beef and pork twice through the smallest plate. If you don’t have one, you’ll have to work the mixture a little more by hand. If you like cooking, though, consider getting one (more about meat grinders in another installment).

1. Combine ground beef, pork and diced onion in a bowl.



2. Work the mixture by hand until it is almost like a smooth paste.



3. Season with salt and pepper. Add a little more salt than you would normally add to a meat mixture. Some of the salt will leach out when they are cooked. Test by frying up a little piece.

Note: You can also make a vegetarian filling by finely dicing onions and mushrooms and sautéing them, adding salt and pepper to taste. Remember, add a little more salt than you would normally add if you were eating them as is. Some of the salt will leach out when they are cooked.

ASSEMBLE THE PELMENI

TRADITIONAL METHOD

1. Cut the dough into three equally sized pieces and roll each one into a cylinder the diameter of a finger.



2. Cut each cylinder into pieces the size of a walnut, then roll each piece into a very thin flat cake (about 1/16 of an inch) with a diameter of about 2 inches.



3. Put some of the ground meat mixture in the center of each flat cake (quite a lot, but not so much that you can't then seal up the dough).



4. Lightly wet the edge of the dough, then fold the dough in half and join up the edges to seal them.Bring the corners of the pelmeni together and pinch them to seal them.

EASIER METHOD
I use a pasta machine for this step. It just makes my life easier in this regard. Get one if you can, you’ll be putting it to good use.

1. Cut the dough into two or three pieces, and flatten out each piece to less than ½ inch thick.



2. Pass the dough through successive settings on the pasta machine until you have sheets about 1/16 of an inch thick.



3. Cut out circles of dough using a 2 inch cookie cutter, or, in my case, a 10 ounce tomato sauce can with the lid removed.



4. Put some of the ground meat mixture in the center of each flat cake (quite a lot, but not so much that you can't then seal up the dough).



5. Lightly wet the edge of the dough, then fold the dough in half and join up the edges to seal them.



6. Bring the corners of the pelmeni together and pinch them to seal them.

Don’t throw away the dough trimmings. Work them together into another ball and pass through the pasta machine again. You’ll be surprised at how many more dough circles you’ll get. Do this until your dough (or filling) is used up.

COOKING PELMENI
Boil fresh pelmeni about five minutes in either broth or water. Frozen pelmeni take about seven to eight minutes.

Serve pelmeni with one of the following: butter and salt, sour cream and dill, sour cream and vinegar, or as a soup with meat broth. You can also serve them with a traditional Russian salad of chopped cucumbers and tomatoes with mayonnaise or sour cream.